Weight Loss Wednesday

I think this is by far the most difficult day for me.  It also the most necessary.  I have battled with my weight my entire life.  The thing is, I don't eat a lot.  I don't even eat very unhealthily (generally!)  I never have.  (Ok not quite never.  There was a breif 3 month peiod I'll talk about in a minute!) My mom never cooked with salt, I really don't like the taste of it.  I don't drink a lot of soda (maybe a 3 or 4 cans a week) and its always diet (I know, aspartame will kill me!).  I used to be quite and active person and, even now, I don't just sit and watch tv.  I'm moving.  I may not be working out like I used to or running or playing soccer, but I don't sit a whole lot during my day.  So, why am I gigantic?  There are a few reasons.

#1     I was my smallest while in university and even then, I was a 10/12.  However, I felt great about myself then.  Not because I was "skinny" (clearly a 12 is not skinny!) but because I felt healthy.  I had so much more energy and, while I was still a little self conscious, I learned to truly love myself, inside and out.  Then life happend and I had to move back home.  I was so depressed, I literally did nothing but eat, sleep and cry for three solid months.  It was an awful time.  I gained a TON of weight (not literally, but close enough!) I really just didn't care about anything.  At all.  I gained over 80 pounds in 3 months.  Yep, you read that right.  Crazy.  Stupid. 

#2     I have a very serious hormone imbalance.  Its why they thought I couldn't have kids and why my 3 little monkeys truly are miracles (I know every baby is a miracle, mine are just more so!).  Its why I'm tested for ovarian cancer regularly (I've had a couple of scares and its no fun!)  Its why my skin/hair/nails/ect don't do what normal peoples do.  Its why I'm super irregular (TMI?  Sorry!)  What does that have to do with weight loss you ask?  Well, estrogen is the hormone that makes girls girls, right? (I know, oversimplifying it!) My body goes through cycles.  I either have almost no estrogen or I have crazy excessive amounts.  Estrogen holds on to fat.  Thats why women naturally have a higher percentage of fat than men.  So, while my body is estrogen deprived, the little that is left is working overtime.  Like, 90 hour week kind of overtime.  One of its overtime duties is to hoard fat.  It fights to hold on to it.  While my my body is overrun with estrogen, its not fighting to hold onto it, but there are way more estrogen girls running around holding fat's hand than in a normal female body. 

SO, getting to the point, it is about 10x more difficult for me to lose weight than the average female.  Let me give you an example.  Shortly before I got pregnant with Kezia, I had decided the time had come to really get serious about this whole weight loss thing.  I joined the lifestyles program, which is run through the local clinic.  Basically, its a program to educate you about food and what you should and shouldn't eat, proper portion sizes ect.  They have this amazing scale that measures bone density ect and lets you know what weight would be ideal for you as well as fat percentage and water percentage and stuff like that.  So, I was going for weekly weigh ins.  I signed up for a bootcamp.  I got up at 5 am 3 mornings a week and went to this crazy stupid workout.  It was intense.  Even the skinny girls thought so!  The days I didn't have boot camp, I'd still get up at 5 and do a workout video of somekind.  After bootcamp/video, I'd do yoga for 45 minutes.  Most days (at least 4 days a week) my friend and I would load our kids in the stroller and go for a walk.  I'm not talking a walk around the block either.  I'm talking minimum 2 hour-usually closer to 3 or 4 hour walks.  Then at least 3 evenings a week I'd go for another walk or do another dvd.  Once summer came and the pool opened, I added early morning water aerobics after bootcamp, followed by morning lane swim and then occasionally afternoon lane swim.  I was watching what I was eating SO closely, keeping a journal, everything I was supposed to do.  I did this for just over 6 months.  Want to know the most I lost in a week during that 6 month period.  0.2 pounds.  Yup, not even one whole pound in a week.  And my fat percentage barely moved either.  Meanwhile, my friend who was doing the same thing I was doing was averaging 5-7 pounds a week.  Talk about frustrating.

So, why am I telling you all of this?  Because I know that this is going to be a very discouraging challenge for me and I need your help.  If you see me, even if I don't really look like I've lost anything, lie to me ;)  Don't let me give up, no matter how much I might yell about only losing .2 pounds.  Make me keep going.  Just keep sending your love my way.  I'll need it!

10 on Tuesday

1. My to do list in the house feels completely insurmountable, but I'm determined to push on.

2. James is in the final stage of interviews for both fedral and provincial positions and its looking more and more like we're going to be moving. Not going to lie, not looking forward to it.

3. January has flown by. At this rate, it's going to be another year of not being ready for Christmas!

4. I am going to pick up our newest order of shoes this week and am SO excited!! There are some SUPER hot shoes coming!

5. I can't get enough of the Big Bang Theory. Love it!

6. I finally figured out how I want to arrange our bedroom, now I just need to make the time to do it!

7. Tomorrow is my last official day of working with Terry. I'm kind of happy about it though. I'm not sure how we're going to pay for living, but I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately and feeling like I wasn't doing what I should be for my kiddos. Now I have time to really focus on them and raise them the way I want to.

8. James is in charge of organizing the graduation dinner for his class and they are doing a couple of fundraisers to help lower ticket prices. The first one is a bake sale on the 13th. I love baking so I'm very excited, but would love any great recipe ideas!

9. I HATE the wind!!

10. We got a dog and I love her to pieces! I was really nervous, but she is so well trained and great with the kids. The first night we got her, TJ pulled up a box next to her kennel and slept by her!

And because they were missing yesterday, here are a few recent pics of baby girl.

Mommy Monday - Where are they now?

So, what better way to start off this new blogging foray than with an overview of the little lovlies I get to be mommy to!

TJ

- Started preschool in September and loves it. In fact, he woke up puking one day this past week and when I told him that meant he couldn't go to preschool, he cried so hard! We ended up having to call his teacher and have her tell him that it was ok for him to stay home and get better.

- Is so caring. He is very concerned with how people are feeling and wants people to be happy.

-Is very polite.

- Can go from being the happiest, most helpful little man to a screaming monster in about .1 of a nanosecond. (On a side note, I am completely out of ideas as to how to deal with these tantrums!)

-Loves playing with pretty much anybody.

- Loves to have books read and has started to "read" to Myles and Kezia.

- Eats like a bird. But will eat most food. He loves seafood, especially shrimp!

- Wears a 5/6 because he's tall, but can fit his waist into 24 month (even some 18 month) clothes.

-Is ALWAYS writing "notes" He gets post its from the office and scribbles on them then will bring them to me and tells me what they say. Ususally, its something about inviting a friend for a playdate.

Myles

-Is the busiest little thing a going. TJ never did the whole go through the cupboards, pull everything off/out of everywhere thing. Myles has perfected it.

-Eats like crazy. Especially fruit. He'll pack away a 2 lb thing of straberries if you let him.

-Is very stubborn and not very patient.

-Wants to do everything TJ does.

-Gets VERY sad when TJ or Daddy leave for school, but usually has no issues when I leave.

-Is becoming very snuggly.

-Calls every movie "Rio"

-Isn't talking nearly as much as I think he should, but apparently he is ok.

-Is fitting between 18 and 24 month clothes.

-Still has a soother at bedtime.

-Has the most mischevious grin.

-We call him "SMyles". I'm sure you can guess why.

-Will go for one nap a day.

Kezia

(this picture was taken at my cousin's baby blessing. Bradey was born a few days before Kezia)

*I realized as I was putting this post together that there is a sad lack of pictures of Kezia. That will be remedied this week!*

-Is still pretty tiny (don't have an exact weight, but am going to weigh in again this week.

-She just outgrew newborn clothes two weeks ago, but only in length. They still fit best around.

-Army crawls like crazy and has actually crawled for the past week, but it slows her down, so she usually goes back to army crawling.

-Pulls herself up on her knees.

-Has been drooly and chewing on everything for almost two months, but still no teeth.

-Loves solid foods (or as solid as baby food gets!)

-Smiles and giggles and talks like crazy!

-Loves her brothers and lights up when she sees them.

-Doesn't always love her carseat.

-Naps at least twice a day.

-Goes to bed around 8 and wakes up around 9, sometimes waking up once to eat around 5:30 ish.

Here we go!

Ok folks, here it is! My foray back into blogging! I've decided if I'm going to do this, I'm going to go all the way! I do much better when I have a list or a schedule, so I'm going to have a different topic to blog about each day. Most posts won't be long and some may not include pictures (mostly because my picture taking skills are atrocious!) but I figure if I'm going to do it, I may as well do it right! Want to know what I'm going to write about? Me too! Just kidding! Here it is...

Mommy Monday - Anything pertaining to mommyhood. Funny things my kids say or do, challenges I'm having, new things I want to try or have tried, pretty much whatever I think pertains to me being a mom!

10 on Tuesday - If you read most of the blogs I follow, you'll know this is not my idea! This is either just 10 random things or maybe a top 10 list, that kind of thing.

Weight Loss Wednesday - Umm, obviously I could stand to lose some weight. Not because I want to be skinny, but I want to be healthy for my kids and my future. And you get to follow me on my journey. I'll share the things I learn or find really helpful as well as (hopefully) my progresss.

Thankful Thursday - I'm doing this really awesome gratitude challenge and I'm going to share it with you! Maybe you can play along too!

DIYF - Instead of TGIF, its DIYF. Yep, Do it yourself Friday. I know, its not the best title, but its the best I could think of. I'm open to suggestions! I'm going to write about our renovations or maybe some crafty hack or something of that sort. Hopefully, this will give me motivation to actually finish projects!

Self-Reliant Saturday - This is something that has always been important to me, but recently it's really been on my mind. So, as I get my family prepared, I'll share what I learn and do with you!

Sundays will be my break/day to regroup and plan. Here's hoping it will work.

Coming Soon?

I want to blog. I miss it. I might just get to it this week. We'll see. Well, maybe I'll see as I doubt anyone even reads this old thing any more!

The Newest Gilbert

*I wrote this post the day after I had baby, but wanted to add some pictures, so here it is, a week later!*

I'm a bad mom, and someday my boys will probably feel slighted by the fact that I'm about to prove just how bad a mom I am, but they'll get over it! You see, I'm going to record the birth story of our third little bundle of joy, but I didn't do it for either of the boys. Sadly, we didn't have a laptop at the time either of them were born, so I couldn't do it at the hospital, and it was just something I never got around to. Like I said, bad mom. So, here goes.

I was due July 4th, but, in true Thornhill/Gilbert style, baby was late. Which worked out ok, because it meant I could go to Calgary on the 6th and see Wicked (which was phenomenal, by the way!) On the 7th, I had another appointment with the doc. He checked and I was only 2 to 3 ish. So, he stripped my membranes again and booked my induction for the following Monday. The next day was a relatively quiet day, no signs of labour or anything, so I prepared for another weekend of pregnancy, knowing it would be the last before I got to meet our little girl.

Friday night I went to bed quite late (around 1am) because James was working and I always have a hard time sleeping when hes gone. I actually fell into quite a deep sleep, something that hadn't happened for a few weeks! Then, at exactly 4:02 am, I was rudely awoken with one killer contraction. They continued every 8 to 10 minutes for the two hours. Just before 6am, I called my friend Jessica who was going to drive me to the hospital and help out in the delivery room and told her it was time. On our way into town, I called James, who was catching a couple of hours of sleep between working until 3 am and his baseball game which he had to be at the diamond by 8am for. I felt SO bad waking him up, but figure this was definitely it. We got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the monitor, I had 2 contractions and that was it. I was cranky, to say the least!! (Ok, cranky doesn't even begin to express how frustrated I was!) Not only had the contractions stopped after almost 3 hours, but the nurse who checked me told me I was still hard and only 1 cm dialated. When I told her the last 3 times the doc had checked me, he said I was soft and had progressed to 3, she totally bit my head off and told me that wasn't possible. I was not a happy camper.

The doc on call told them to have me come back around 4pm to be checked again and see if I had made any progress. So I went on with my day. We took the boys to the candy parade in Coaldale and spent most of the afternoon at their kids carnival. I had maybe 5 contractions all day, but had an intense pressure in my rear ALL day. I wasn't going to go to the hospital because I figured there was no point. I wasn't having conistent contractions, I was just uncomfortable. James, however, talked me into it. So back we went. They hooked me up to the monitor and baby was less than co-operative. It took almost an hour to get 10 good minutes of tracking. Again, I was less than happy. The nurse checked me again, and I had progressed to 4cm. I was sure they were going to send me home, but after she talked to the doctor, he said they were going to keep me. I had started having more regular contractions again after she had checked me and was really hoping they wouldn't stop again!

They moved me to a delivery suite and I told the nurse that, while I knew it was too early, as soon as I could, I would like an epidural. Let me pause to say that I am not one of those women who can do birth naturally. I think those women are amazing. My body won't relax enough to progress without an epidural. It sounds crazy, but its true. The nurse told me ok, but that out of the 4 women that had asked for an epidural that day, only 1 had actually gotten it because they had been so busy in emerg that the anaesthesiologist hadn't made it in time for any of the others. I almost cried right there. She left to go do some paperwork and James gave me a blessing while we were alone. Shortly after that, she came back and said I was in luck. Both the OB/GYN on call and the anaesthesiologist had just come to the desk and she told them I'd like an epidural. They had to go the OR quickly and then they'd be back for me! Again, I almost cried. So, around quarter to eight, I got an epidural and then the doc broke my water. At 8:21, with 2 1/2 pushes (the cord was wrapped around her neck quite tightly, so I had to stop mid push so they could cut it), baby was born. Then things got dicey.

Apparently, my cord was never properly attatched to the placenta, so very few nutrients were actually getting to the baby while she was in utero. The nurse told us that it was a miracle she was here at all, let alone here at a somewhat normal weight and relatively healthy. NICU was called in to assess her. Her vitals were all really good, but her colouring was horrible. She was white. Pure white. Also, the cord not attaching properly made delivering the placenta impossible. It was stuck inside and I was hemorraging. I was rushed to the ER while NICU took care of baby. At this point, I finally cried. A lot.

While I was in surgery, things got figured out with baby and she and James were moved to the room where I was going to be staying. (I should also pause to mention that James' Dad was rushed to the ER earlier that morning and was still there awaiting some test results, so James spent his time running between both of us! His Dad was released, although whether or not he should have been is still up for debate!) Just before 11, I was brought into the room. I guess the doctor had come and talked to James to tell him things went well with the surgery and that there shouldn't be any further complications. What a day!

I'm happy to report that we are all doing much better today, although I still feel really groggy from the anastetic. And we now have a darling little girl in our family!

Jumping on the bandwagon

Everyone is doing all these great, random lists. And yes, they usually do them on Tuesday, but I'm in the mood to do one now, and, to be completely honest, I probably won't remember come Tuesday! So here it is!

1. I'm so done being pregnant. This is a new feeling to me. With both boys, I had only started feeling human about a month before they arrived and I didn't have any braxton hicks or anything. I still feel nauseous and have been having major braxton hicks for almost 5 weeks now. I'm done.

2. I really admire people who run, but I really don't understand them.

3. While I'm physically completely ready to have this baby, my house is not even remotely ready.

4. I usually look forward to July 1st, but after everything with Mom happened, that changed. Now this year Grandma's not around and I'm really not looking forward to it. Add to that the fact that everyone from my moms side of the family is supposed to be coming to spend a large part of the day at my completely disasterous, still under renovations, trying to get ready for baby house and I'm actually dreading the first. Boo.

5. I have not wanted to eat actual food for days. Just give me ice cream, freezies and ice cold water!

6. My little 4 year old is driving me mental. He does not listen and absolutely no consequence phases him for more than 5 seconds. He has major screaming/kicking/throwing thing tantrums when a consequence is given and then does the same thing a few minutes/hours later. No amount of positive reinforcement helps either. I really am at a loss. Short of beating him, I've got nothing!

7. I love the sun. Don't want it to stop all summer!

8. I REALLY want a bag for my lawn mower! 3/4 of an acre is way too much to rake and I hate the look of piles of grass everywhere. Sadly, that will have to wait until we're done spending money on renos.

9. Every day I spend in our house now makes me want to build our new house even more. Can't wait til I don't have to try and combine my style, James' style and Dad's style. They're all SO different and its REALLY frustrating!

10. I have an awesome husband. He may not always express himself well and sometimes he says some REALLY stupid things, but he has a huge heart and would do anything to help people. And sometimes he can be really sweet.