The Big 1-0

It's officially here. No matter how I tried to pretend/ignore/avoid it, it came!! My ten year high school reunion was last night. Truth be told, I'd been waffling between going and not. For the most part, I keep in touch with those I really want to and through the wonders of facebook and the grapevine, I hear about most of the others. Umm, that sounds way snobbier than I anticipated! Really, I'm not a snob! To be 100% honest, the biggest reason I didn't want to go wasn't because of anyone else. It was because of me. Let me explain.

I was not exactly the popular kid in high school. I was not even remotely gifted in sports, the school choir was kind of a joke (although it was fun!), there was no drama program, and,while I was smart, most of my friends were smarter than I was. Add to that that I was one of the biggest girls in school and my friends were all beautiful, well, lets just say I spent many dances watching them get asked to dance.

For a while after high school, I was bitter. I blamed it on the school and the small town I came from. While I was at BYU, I really found myself. I had ample opportunity to do the things I loved and had some really great success at it. Then circumstances changed and I had to come home really suddenly. Since then, I've done virtually nothing with theater at all.

When I left high school, I had the desire to "prove myself" and had all these huge plans for my 1o year reunion. As I grew up, my desire wasn't as vindictive. I heard and saw all of these great things my class mates had accomplished and I felt like I was falling short. I've accomplished so little!

Over the last few months, as reality set in, so did a huge sense of failure. I left BYU with a year left to get my degree, with the exception of when I was at university, my job history has not been illustrious or exciting, I don't own a house, my financial situation is far less than impressive, I haven't lost all the weight I want to, my business is growing way too slowly... well, you get the idea. With the exception of TJ and James, I felt like I had very little in the way of accomplishments!

As the weeks passed, I started to realize that, even though I haven't accomplished 1/10 of what I wanted to by now, I'm not a failure at all! Life has thrown me some pretty big curve balls over the past 10 years and I've dealt with them and grown from them. I'm still working towards my goals and I haven't given up. That, in and of itself is enough to make me not a failure.

I still didn't go last night, but mostly it was because I was feeling really sick.

GRRR

My power cord on my computer suddenly stopped working for no reason at all and James' power cord hasn't worked for months so now I can't get any pictures off my computer for the posts I want to do and I can only use the computer when we're over at my Dad's house! Ridiculous! I'll get it fixed asap, but really, that may not be as soon as I'd like!

Mother's Day, A Birthday & Some Pancakes

May is always a busy month for us. Between Mother's Day, my birthday and 3 family member's birthdays, its one party after another! Just for ease of remembering, I'm going to go in chronological order!

#1 Mother's Day

James was wonderful and let me sleep in, made me breakfast in bed and pretty much took care of things all day! Sadly, he doesn't usually remember to take pictures and I didn't even think about it! After church, my family all got together at Manda and Tem's for a weenie roast. It was pretty awkward but we still had a good time! This I got a few pics of...

James was our resident weenie roaster/s'more maker. What a man!~

#2 My Birthday - The 13th was my birthday and, honestly, I didn't want to do much! A few of my friends took me to lunch and then we got together with my family at Amanda's place for dinner that night. The next night, a bunch of our friends threw a little surprise party for me, which was really fun. Sorry, no pics! I took my camera to all three places and forgot to use it!

#3 Long Weekend = Pancakes. Ok, so actually, pancakes and eggs are the breakfast menu almost every morning b/c its one of the few things I can get TJ to eat. I had a gift card from Williams Sonoma that I got for Christmas over a year ago, but I don't get to the store nearly as often as I'd like. (James doesn't think it's justifiable to drive 3 hours just to shop. I guess he can't be perfect!) But, we were up there for a business thing a few weeks back and I saw these...

They are pancake molds!!! And they make the cutest pancakes ever! So, I used my gift card and ordered a set. We had a bunch of friends over on the Monday of the long weekend and had a huge pancake breakfast where we ate monkey's, elephants and lions. I also had a few heart shaped molds I got when I lived in Utah, so there were hearts too. The kids had a blast! It was so much fun!
Ok, my pancakes didn't turn out quite so nicely, but close! This is actually the pic from Williams Sonoma. And for some reason, I can't get pictures to turn the right way, but just tilt you head! ;)

Where to Start?

I know it has been forever since I have written. In fact, blogging is not the only thing I'm seriously behind on (sorry to those of you who are STILL waiting patiently for me to finish alts!). I do actually have a few really good reasons. Honest, I'm not just an unreliable slacker. I've been debating for well over a month now to blog about whats going on and, in all honesty, I still have some reservations. For one, I'll probably get in a truckload of trouble. For two, I'm always worried about freaking people out and having them look at me like the goober I truly am. Although, if you know me at all you already know I'm pretty much a mental case. So, here goes...

My mom has had and affair and left my Dad. What makes it worse, if that's possible, is that the guy she is "seeing" is an inmate. Yep, you read that right. A prisoner she me while she worked there. The affair got her fired and she doesn't care. I'll spare you the rest of the details, but lets just say she has become the most selfish, unfeeling person I have ever met. I don't really feel like going into how I feel ect, but lets just say that I've kind of shut down over the past month. I have been avoiding people in general, but especially those who know my family.

So there it is, my big dirty secret! Crappy. There have been several really great things that have happened over the past month, but they've all been tainted by this one huge thing. I'm going to post about all of them over the next day or two, I just have to sort through all the pictures! Stay tuned for some much happier posting!

{two}

My little man turned two on Monday. How time flies! We are so blessed to have TJ in our lives. I don't feel like getting too emotional, so I'll keep the gushy part short. When I'm having a bad day, he always cheers me up. He is too smart and so thoughtful. Really, he can always tell when I need a hug! I just love him to pieces.

We had a big family dinner on Monday with all the grandparents, aunts, ect. It was super fun and TJ got ridiculously spoiled.

The loot...

Opening the loot...

In our house, the birthday person gets to pick what thywant for dinner, so we had homemade baked mac and cheese, one of TJ's favs. I forgot to take a picture of the cake, but here is what's left...

On Tuesday, we had a party with his friends and I did't take single picture, except the cake. Its my goal to start taking more/better pics, but here's the cake. Guess what the theme of the party was...

*On a side note, anyone know how to fix my blog? It won't let me change my background at all. Very frustrating.*

**On another side note, its really difficult to type when your keyboard looks like this...

Time to take a breath

If you have been anywhere near my house lately, you know that my life has been absolutley insane. Don't believe me, let me give you a breakdown of my upcoming week. Ready.....

I have 3 grad fittings, 1 bridal fitting (so far, I know of at least 2 brides who are going to call in the next few days to set up appointments), a few orders to fill for Yummy Mummy, a custom guitar cake for Saturday, class Monday and Tuesday, a skirt project (that is driving me absolutely crazy. It will look amazing when its done, but right now, I hate it), 2 custom sewing appointments, 1 birthday cake to make so I can decorate it next week, 2 doctors apts (1 for me, 1 for TJ), a group meeting for my skirt project, working a full day on Saturday, sewing TJ's birthday presents, sewing the dresses for all the fittings/custom sewing appointments I have, getting supplies for TJ's party next week, making & delivering invitations for TJ's party next week, planning our menu for April, making our grocery list for April, as well as all the usual cleaning, cooking, mommy stuff.

And this is my least busy week all month. Seriously. I'm not lying.

As I'm sure you can imagine, I've been feeling a little stretched lately. My poor TJ has developed a great love of movies and I'm feeling more than just a little guilty. This past week especially has been a bad one and it has led me to thinking. There really isn't a lot I can eliminate from my life. We really need the money my alterations bring in and once James has a "real" job, we're hoping the alterations will make it possible for me not to have to work in Lethbridge any more. (I love my job and the girls I work with, but its really crappy that James' only day off is spent with me at work.)

So what is a girl with her plate overloaded to do, you ask? I have an answer and it is short and concise! Simplify and Organize! I've got a list of a few charts I'm going to be making tomorrow and we're getting a really big calendar to write everything on so we can all be on the same page. And, I'm going to be scheduled. I'm making sure I take time to be with my little monster (and my big monster too! Date night, here we come!).

Got any great organizational tips? Any ways to simplify? I'd love to hear them!!

Baaa...

I feel a little like a sheep following the crowd, but oh well...

Fifty Questions.

1. Do you like blue cheese? Not even a little bit!! Who in their right mind would want to eat MOULD!!!

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope. Neve had a desire to. Can't stand the smell!

3. Do you own a gun? Not in a million years. I'm am so not pro-gun. Much to my hubby's dismay.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Usually strawberry, although I like to mix it up some times and try new things! Hmm, I miss Sonic.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on what the appointment is for.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? If they're the right kind, then they are delish! Hmm, I think a weenie roast might be in order soon, now that I'm thinking of hot dogs!

7. Favorite Christmas Song? I love Christmas music in general. I think I actually have more Christmas CDs than regular cds.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I can't get enough ice cold water. Its pretty much all I drink.

9. Can you do push-ups? Ha Ha Ha. Have you seen me!?!

10. What is your favorite movie? I don't think it would be humanly possible to narrow to a top 10, let alone a favorite.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I just love jewelry. Especially fun, unique, funky pieces. Hmm, I should go shopping for more jewlery.

12. Favorite hobby? I don't think I can type that!! ;) j/k Honestly, too many fun things to do to choose one. I like doing anything that makes me feel happy!

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? I surely don't think so, but maybe they closet idolize me. If so, they should come out with it! Really, everyone should idolize me! ;)

14. Do you have ADD? Sorry, I was busy finishing something else.

15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? Honestly, (and its completely shallow) but I pretty much hate how I look.

16. What’s your middle name? Lynn.

17. Name three thoughts at this moment: I still feel sick. I need to paint my toenails. I have to find my labels to put one on Kelly's bag.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: I stayed home all day yesterday, so no purchases. In fact, I think the last time I bought anything was Monday, so we'll go then. I bought a few more things for our St. Patty's Party (post to come soon), some more containers for organizing, more bobbins for my sewing machine.

19. Current worry right now? How we're going to pay for everything. I think I've just decided its not going to happen.

21. Current hate right now? See question 15.

22. Favorite place to be? Its a tie between on stage/in the theatre and in the sunshine. Get the same warm fuzzy feeling/adrenaline high from both.

23. How did you bring in the New Year? Partied at with some friends until WAY too late! (Much past midnight!)

24. Where would you like to go? 2 places 1. New York (I am SO jealous of you, Lindsay) 2. Paris

25. Name three people who will complete this? Stupid question

26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Another stupid question.

27. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue/Teal/Green/White/Gold

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Yes, actually, I really love it!

29. Can you whistle? Yep, pretty well too.

30. Favorite color? Depends on what it is. Just not pastels. Give me rich, saturated colors!

31. Would you be a pirate? That depends... would I get to keep the booty???

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Mostly show tunes. Drives James crazy!

33. Favorite girl’s name? Hmm, there are lots I love. I really like Kezia.

34. Favorite boy’s name? TJ! Ok, confession time. TJ's name was actually Jame's choice and it took me a VERY long time to warm up to it. (As in, the whole pregnancy and then a while longer.)

35. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing. I hate having things in my pockets.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? One of the girls in the sewing lab who sewed her sleeve on upside down 4, yes 4, times!! Despite myself, the lab assitant and the girl next to her setting the sleeve in for her. Wow. Really, Wow.

37. Best bed sheets as a child? Don't really remember and special sheets.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? When I stabbed myself in the arm while working at Maple Leaf. Stupid Maple Leaf.

39. What is your favorite snack? Fruit!!!

40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? Watch Disney movies with TJ. And of course, Sunday naps!

41. Who is your loudest friend? Jessica, both friend Jessica and sister Jessica. But I love them for it!

42. How many dogs do you have? None. I love dogs, but am anti pet. I'm a strong believer that you should have the time to dedicate to your pet and I don't, so no pets for us! That and I hate the mess that pets make.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I think James does, but I'm not sure. ;)

45. What is your favorite book? Enchantress of Crumbledown, but as long as its an intersting read, I'll read it. I love reading! Such a nerd, I know!

46. What is your favorite candy? Mini eggs and white air heads. I should stop at the gas station next time I'm out and get some!

47. What is your favorite sports team? I'm a fan of BYU, but mostly just cause I went there. Other than that, I don't really cheer for anyone in particular.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I try not to think about my funeral, actually!

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sewing.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? My head hurts. (Still does, actually)