(Grumpy) Thoughts

So many things have happened in my world recently and there is no way I could possibly catch up, so I'm not going to try.  However, I am going to vent a little bit because I need to.

I live my life saying and doing things to not offend people or to make them happy.  I'm so much more concerned with others happiness than my own most of the time.   (And I'm not talking about my kids or anything.  It's my job to put their happiness in front of mine and I'm glad to do it!)  It's exhausting. I frequently talk a big talk, but I'm not very good at following through.  Maybe someday I'll be better at it.  Maybe...

I'm feeling crazy burnt out lately.  Not from my super busy schedule, but from taking care of a million people who should be able to take care of themselves and them having them get cranky at me for doing it.  I'm sorry, folks, but there are 3 families who live under my roof and I am in charge of all of them.  I have 2 people who are disabled I have to take care of, including keeping straight tons of specialist appointments, 4 children, all under the age of 5 and 4 "normal" adults.  My husband works out of town, so usually I do it on my own.  The ONLY way things work is to be crazy organized and scheduled, yet I seem to be the only one who realizes that.  People need to clean up after themselves and stop being lazy!  I understand if its the kids.  They're still learning to clean up and they need help.  I get that my disabled brother can't do things for himself and that my blind father is limited in what he can do. But the other adults in my house are driving me batty.  Seriously, 10 people!! If all 10 people leave out only 10 things is a day (which is not much at all!) that is ONE HUNDRED THINGS I HAVE TO PICK UP!!!!  This is not complicated math!  Why am I the only one who can figure it out!! Grr...

I'm seriously ready to move.  I don't care if its in town or far away, but I just need to get out.  I'm tired of not having my own space.  I want to have friends over.  I want to be able to turn the tv off without someone getting cranky.  I want pop to be a treat, not a constant necessity.  I'm SO done!! Blah

I'm so not ready for Christmas.  In fact, I'm kind of dreading Christmas.  We have no clue if James is working or not.  And its supposed to be our year with James' family. I don't see the point in me taking the kids to James' parents' house on Christmas Day if James isn't here. We're going to be getting together on a day when James is home, so why do it twice! This philosophy has made me super unpopular with James and his family.  Back to my first ranting paragraph, I will almost definitely end up there for part of Christmas Day without my husband.  Crappy.

 I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I love my religion, but I know its not for everyone.  I will gladly share it with anyone, but I'm not pushy.  You may or may not have heard about the recent "Wear Pants to Church Day" where a group of LDS feminists protested by wearing pants to church.  Traditionally, women wear skirts to show their respect.  Honestly, I haven't done enough research to feel comfortable commenting on the views of this group.  What I have a problem with is where the statement was made.  You wouldn't catch me walking into a synagogue and disrupting their worship service to prove a point.  Why can't people respect for those around them. Ah!

Final rant.  I love so many aspects of the town I live in, but there are some serious flaws.  Flaws which I'm not sure people even realize exist.  I hate that the arts are so under-represented here.  And the few groups there are are only populated by the same people repeatedly.  I have taught piano lessons since I was 14.  I minored in music at university I was involved in over 50 professional theater productions and several tv episodes and film. And yet after playing the piano in church a few weeks ago, I had multiple people come up to me and say they didn't know I played! For real! I'm sorry I didn't/don't have the right name/look/house/ect but I'm still valuable! I hate it! And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. The thing is, I honestly don't think it's intentional. I don't think they're bad people, just it gets really easy to go to the same people repeatedly instead of letting new people get a chance.

Anyway, enough grumpiness. Coming soon, a happy post!