Catharsis

I have a confession to make. I hate Southern Alberta. I'm not kidding. I hate the wheat fields, the brown, the wind, the cold, the cows, the lack of culture, the lack of people, the lack of trees, tall buildings, anyway, you get the idea. This lack of love for my home leads me to have some pretty severe winter grumpies. I get moody and snap at those around me. (If you are one of those people I have snapped at lately, I apologize) I can't breathe properly and I have constant headaches because of it. I get very lathargic, have zero motivation and just want to stay in bed until its warm. So why, you ask, don't I move? Its simple. The people around me. I don't make friends very easily. I am quite shy and frequently mistaken for being snotty because of it. Also, I'm constantly worried about offending others. I'm just not comfortable around new people, so its rare that I make friends. The friends that I do have here are so great. I can't imagine leaaving them. And my family is here. If you know my family well, you know we get together all the time. And its not just that I'd miss the get together's, but its really great to have TJ be so close to everyone. Honestly, if it was just me, I'd be somewhere far far away. Probably the theater district in New York or in sunny Florida or in back in Utah.

Ok, so you are probably sitting there thinking why is she rambling on about this. What is the point behind this complaining? Its because after this winter down time, comes the spring catharsis. A catharsis is a purging of emotions. In every play, the hero has a cathartic moment, a moment when his outlook on his life changes and he realizes he can go on from there. This is what happens to me every spring. I have that moment when I realize that things are ok. I have had some great Cinderella moments in my life. What, you may ask, is a Cinderella moment? Its a time in your life when you get to live your life exactly the way you want to. When everything falls into place and you get to live out one of your wildest dreams. Some people only get one or two of these moments in their lifetime and I've already have a few of them. Yes, they only last until midnight, but they give you something to dream about the rest of your life. There are days when I would love to go back, but then I think about what I get to do now. (Some days, it takes a few days for that to make me feel better!!;) I may not be exactly who I want to be or where I want to be, but I am with the people I want to be with. My location does not get to determine who I am, only I can do that.

I love that I get to start each spring with a fresh outlook on life and a renewed sense of wonder. I love myself more each spring and am more greatful for those around me. I still don't like Southern Alberta and I don't know that I ever will, but it is where I call home these days and I don't forsee it changing anytime soon. And I'm ok with that!