Ahem...

Ok, so I feel a little sheepish. Today, while trying to get my mind off being frustrated, I was checking out my regular blogs and what do I find. This. Talk about feeling like a heel. Anywho, I'm very grateful that Tina recoginizes that I'm not always as whiny as I've been the past few days!! And thanks to her! So, here it is, my first blog award. I'd like to thank the little people...

The Lemonade Award

What is this award about....

Bloggers who show great Attitude and Gratitude.

What you have to do....
Upon receiving The Lemonade Award, you also pass it on to other bloggers who you think show great Attitude and Gratitude.

Here are the rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!

3. Link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

Here are my Blogatudious nominee's: (In no particular order)

1. Kelly

2. Lindsay

3. Whitney

4. Rebecca

5. Rhonda

6. Camille

7. Aunt Cheryl

8. Maureen (who I know never blogs, but is really very wonderful about having a great attitude in real life!!)

9. Stephanie

10. Cheryl (also nominated by Tina)

Ok, so I really good have chosen many more people, but I decided to narrow it down to those whom I call/email/facebook ect when I'm having a bad day and those whose blogs frequently cause me to giggle uncontrollably! To you, thanks! Mmm, now I want some real lemonade and I happen to have lemons in the fridge! How fortunate!

*WARNING* Serious Whining Ahead

This is not a happy post. This is a whining/venting post. If you want a happy post, don't read this. If you don't want to listen to me whine, don't read this.

I am not a happy camper for many reasons these days. James is still home (finished his last job early) and we have NO money, talked to a mortgage broker and looks like there is no way out, found out my bank screwed up my payments to my cc so it looked like there were no payments made in a few months and my card was cancelled (so much for rebuilding my credit) TJ hasn't slept in 3 night and we have no idea why and nothing is helping, I have to work today, I want to give my notice at work b/c I know its what TJ really needs, but I'm stressing over losing our only current source of income however miniscule it is, my house is a constant disaster and it seems to be impossible to get the other grown ups who are regularly home to help me and I can't keep up with it myself, there is nowhere in Raymond to rent, the house we were going to be able to rent to own looks like its going to fall through, I've been feeling especially fat lately (and not for any good reason), I've had a wicked headache from all this wind and nothing is working out despite our best efforts. Today, life is not good.

Here We Go Again...

Cue the visions on the 80s hair metal band Whitesnake. I've been singing this song all freaking day. James left last night to head back up north to work. Hes not doing the same job and his new job pays much more than the last one, so hopefully we'll get ahead a little quicker. We'll see. In the meantime, poor TJ doesn't understand why Daddy wasn't home at all today. Poor kiddo. Oh well, I just have to keep him busy and give him extra loves.

{four}

Today is our fouth anniversay. To some, this may not seem like much of an accomplishment. I know most of you out there are way past us, but for James and I, its pretty huge.

I often get asked (and occasionally ask myself) why I married James. (Its not usually asked in a rude way, just a questioning way) James and I are TOTAL opposites who have almost nothing in common. Literally, nothing. We are both human, we both eat food, breathe air, ect, and we are both members. Thats pretty much where the similarities stop. And while, normally, the overused "because I love him" answer is all I offer, today's festivities lead me to expound.

Top 4 Reasons I Married James

4. He was there... Ok, I'm totally joking. That was so not it at all. Truly, one of the things I love the most about him is that he can make me laugh, even when I don't want to. He knows how to help me not stress out quite as often as I do, and I love that.

3. He is one of the best Dads I have ever seen. Of course, I didn't know this when we got married, seeing as we didn't have kids yet, but I did know he was going to be great. Hes pretty much a big kid himself, so TJ loves playing with him. And hes so protective, its kind of funny at times!

2. He has such a big heart. He hates it when others are upset or being used. Really, even if its something totally out of our control, he gets so agitated. And even though he complains occasionally, he is so good about helping out with jobs that require the strength I just don't have!! And he likes to vaccuum!! Really, who wouldn't love that!

And the #1 reason I love James is....

He lets me be me and loves me for it. I am crazy. I know it, but it is who I am. Even though we are so completely different, he loves me and lets me be interested in what I want to be interested in. He even "listens" for what I'm sure seems like hours to me drone on about some sewing or scrapbooking or business thing that I know he has absolutely no interest at all in!!

There are, of course, a million more reasons I love him, but I have things to do today and no one wants to sit and read a post that is that long, so four it is!! Here's to many more wonderful years together!!

This is pretty much the only wedding picture you will see. And its not a great one, its just one somebody got on their camera. Our wedding photographer was awful, so our pictures were crap, but what can you do!! (Ok, James says their fine, but I really don't like them, so whatever!!)

And this is the most recent one of us together. I know its a repeat, but neither of us like getting our picture taken, so its actually a very rare thing to have us in there together!!

The Best is Yet to Come! (Cheesy, I know!)

A new year is here and I'm thinking I should write something profound. However, I'm drawing a blank. So, here it is, raw and uncensored, how I'm really feeling.



As you may or may not know, this year has not been the best for us Gilberts. It has been a year of unacheived goals, "unanswered" prayers, hopes being dashed, bubbles being burst... well, you get the idea. The most frustating part of the year is that most of these things have been out of our control. Being the control freak that I am, I don't like it when things are out of my control and I like it even less when they don't go the way I want and there is nothing I can do about it.



December came and things went from bad to worse. Between being sick for weeks on end, being sure we had finally found a place to live and then having that fall through and James being laid off, finding a job the same day and then getting laid off two weeks later, I had no Christmas spirit. I was downright miserable. *Note: Lest you think I'm an ungrateful wretch, I was still greatful for the blessing of the season, it just wasn't in the forefront of my mind as it should have been!* I tried repeatedly to get out of the funk I was in. Nothing worked. I constantly reminded myself that things could have been much worse. No one I loved had passed on or was deathly ill, my health issues had been more of a constant annoyance than anything major, TJ was healthy and happy, I had a wonderful husband who loved me and a close family who was always there for me. I wasn't completely homeless, I had food on the table, all my basic needs were met. But I still felt like crap. I felt like a failure. My business has not grown the way I hoped so I had to go back to work, James was, yet again, out of work and there is no hope in sight as far as moving into our own place goes. Every major thing we had set out to accomplish through the past year had not worked out, despite our best efforts. Talk about feeling discouraged!



Then, yesterday, James and I went to the temple. It was much needed because it had been a while, but I didn't really expect any answers. *Note: Again, please don't think the worst of me!! Its not because I didn't believe or anything, I've just never recieved any of those smack you in the face answers that everyone talks about.* We left later than we anticipated, so we got to the temple too late for the 10:30 session, but super early for the 11:30 session. As I was sitting in the chapel, waiting for James (who, by the way, takes a ridiculously long time to get dressed!) I grabbed the Book of Mormon in front of me. This was my usual routine while waiting, so I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. I always let the book fall to where it will and then begin reading. So, it opened to Moroni 7:37-48 (its pretty long, so I'm you'll have to read it for yourself, I don't feel like typing it all out!).

Talk about perfect! It was just what I needed to end the year! So, now its 2009 and I am hoping for a better year than last. I am hoping to see success and to accomplish those goals that had to be postponed. However, I'm not going to focus on those things as much as I did last year. I have wonderful friends and family. I'm talking amazing. I have the opportunity to improve myself daily. I am mostly healthy and I can choose to be happy, even if things don't work out the way I planned. I am feeling very opitomistic about life in general, which kind of surprises me!

I wish all of you the best year so far! Happy 2009!!