Monday, January 4, 2010

Merry Merry And A Few "Resolutions"

***WARNING: This post is LONG! That's what happens when you don't post in forever and there are a few major events that happen!***

Its amazing how quickly time flies. Especially when you have so much you are looking forward to/dreading. I can't lie, I was not looking forward to Christmas this year. In fact I was really dreading the whole holiday season. Christmas and New Years have always been a time when we were surrounded by Mom's family and I knew that wasn't going to be the case this year. I wasn't really sure how we were going to handle it, especially me, being ridiculously prego and emotional! I have to say, it wasn't that bad. We actually had a really great time. It was different and we all definitely missed Mom and wished she was making better choices, but we survived. No, more than that, we thrived! We didn't just muddle through, we enjoyed the season completely!

TJ was completely spoiled. Actually, we all were, but TJ was definitely the most spoiled. He was so excited to open "presinents". He had a little bit of a hard time understanding that it wasn't always his turn to open a present or that all the presents weren't for him, but all in all, he did great!
TJ admiring all the "presinents"

One of his many presents from Papa.

Enjoying his new tools.

He got a few games and he LOVES to play them. I think I played Candyland and Cooties about a hundred times on boxing day!
Enjoying Daddy's big present. Let me pause here to say, in a temporary moment of insanity, I got James a puppy for Christmas. Not a dog, a puppy. A black lab/border collie cross puppy. His name is Zeus. He's cute and relatively well behaved, but I'm sure I should be committed. I was adamant we would not get any kind of pet until we were in our own house and that when we did, it would be a small, adult, already trained dog. Apparantly, I lied on all accounts!

New Year's was pretty low key. I'd been having contractions for the week and a half leading up to New Years, so I wasn't in the mood to do much. We went to Manda's house and ate goodies and played games. New Years Day we had our traditional family fondue. It was delicious and tons of fun. That evening James and I headed out to a party hosted by some of our friends. I laughed so hard I was sure I was going to go into labor, but no such luck!

Playing games at Manda'sTJ carrying a tradition of "cheese wax lips"Adi modelling our fantastic hats from our crackers on New Year's Day.TJ enjoying chocolate fondue!

So, onto something a little more serious (I know, its hard to think of me being serious!) This past year was hard. In fact, that's an understatment. It was awful. There were many times when I was sure there was no way through it. I often wondered if and how we were going to make it. Like I said before, I was not looking forward to Christmas at all. And then it happened and we made it though rather easily. I have learned so much about myself and my family through this last year.

1. I have learned that I know what I believe. This may sound a little odd, so let me explain. For quite some time now, I have felt kind of blase about the Gospel. This doesn't mean I didn't believe it was true, I just didn't put any effort into and consequently, didn't really feel the effect of the Gospel in my life. However, I now know without a shadow of a doubt how important the Gospel is. More importantly, I know how vital it is not to get lazy about living the Gospel.

2. James and I have grown closer together through the whole mess with my Mom. I've learned to take him for granted and to voice concerns I have before they blow into huge issues.

3. One of the biggest things I've learned is how true it is the Heavenly Father will never give us more than we can handle. I've prayed for strength and understanding more this past year than I have since my divorce, and I have felt the strength and peace only He can give.

4. I have learned how important an eternal perspective is. Right now, Mom is making some really stupid choices, but I have no control over it. I can only control my choices and how I react to her choices. I can (and do) pray daily for her to see what she is doing and how misguided she is, but I also have to realize that, as much as I may want it to happen tomorrow, it probably won't and I have to have patience. This is true with all the things in life.

5. Maybe most important of all, I have learned that we have to learn to be happy no matter the circumstances we are given. I truly believe the scriptures when they say "Men are that they might have joy." Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, but that doesn't mean He can take away any hardships or challenges in our life. Its up to us to figure out how to be happy, even in the worst of circumstances.

This New Year is full of promise and opportunity. I'm looking forward to the chance I have to improve myself and my situation and to make the most of the time I'm given!

Happy New Year!

2 comments:

{Sarah} said...

Wow... That is a lot of presents!

I am glad that you had a good Christmas, even given the circumstances. You are an amazingly strong woman Tisha... you can make it through this, and I am glad you are starting to see that as well. Hopefully one day your Mom will see what she is doing in a different light and change some things. Hugs to you!

KellyLady said...

So glad that you had a great season! Been thinking about you lots.
Appreciate all the good wisdom and insights...and hopefully one day your mom will see the light.

Good luck with getting babe here soon!