Walk it 'Til you Drop it

I am not a runner. I don't understand it. I've never enjoyed it, even when my knees were good. I do love, however, a brisk walk. I could walk for hours. I could also go to the gym for hours, but my kiddos probably wouldn't appreciate it and it really makes no sense to drive into town to get to the gym.

The past several months I've been REALLY trying to lose weight. I have a medical thing that makes it so that my body holds on to fat like crazy. Really, I'm not making it up. The way it was explained to me was that if a normal person has to work out for 10 minutes to burn 50 calories, I'll have to work out for 20 minutes to burn 50 calories. Its awesome. Makes trying to lose weight super frustrating, but I've had enough of being ginormous, so I'm sticking with it.

Back to walking, I love walking outside, but have to work out early, before my kids get up. When James has to work early, leaving the house isn't an option! Luckily, I found an awesome program a while ago. I LOVE it!

There are several different dvds and I don't really know that I have a favorite. She's a little cheesy sometimes, but I haven't really found a workout dvd that isn't!

Once I actually make some signifcant progress, I'll post some numbers, but in the meantime, I'm feeling much more energetic and generally healthier, so that's a great step!

What's In A Name?

I'm lucky enough to be named after my Grandma. She was an amazing lady who loved the her family and the Gospel fiercely. She had a talent for crafts and loved scrapbooking. We spent hours scrapbooking or crafting together and if I ever had a sewing question, I'd call her. For the most part we got along fabulously. The biggest exception was about a yeat and a half ago when I told her I thought it was pretty rotten that she and my aunts all seemed to accept my Mom's lies and toss us aside so easily. Recently, though, she (and my aunts) began to see just how many lies were told. I had just started to get my Grandma back when she was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. They sent her for five radiation treatments. Unfortunately, she lost her battle with the cancer on August 18, 2010. I already miss her, but I'm so glad she went quickly and with relatively little pain.

At her funeral, her sisters were reminiscing about her and it constantly amazed me how much we had in common. I always knew we had a lot of similarities, but I didn't realize quite the extent of it.

I also have the great priviledge of being named after my Grandma. I've always loved my name and my Grandma, but now I'm even more aware of the special meaning it has and the responsiblity I have to make her proud that I have her name. I love and miss you Grandma!!

What

What

The Steal That Almost Was

Camille over at Archives of our Lives does this thing called Saturday Steals every week and I'm joining in the fun this weekend!

Last weekend we took a little vacation which included a trip to my favorite outlet mall. As we were walking past the Coach store (one of my all time favorites!) I was handed my own personal golden ticket! A 20% off your ANYTHING in the store coupon. Even sale items! Oh sweet heaven! So, into Mecca I go, picking up and tenderly adoring lovely item after lovely item. Each one is more fantastic than the last until suddenly, there it is. In the 50% off section, among a bunch of colorful things that I'm not quite sure should be part of the delightful Coach product line, there it is. It is SO beautiful. There is no way it could really be in the 50% off section. It must be in the wrong place. I pick it up, I stroke it (sadly, I'm not kidding), its the right size to be used as a diaper bag or a purse, I open it up and it has a perfect amount of pockets, in short, its PERFECT! See, isn't it BEAUTIFUL!!

I look at the price tag (Sadly this is the not so perfect part). It startled me, even though I knew it was coming. A whopping $358 dollars! Way out of this Mommy's budget. But then, in the back of my mind, I remember, the 50% table! I seek out a saleslady (it wasn't hard, they were everywhere) and ask her to confirm if it really was 50% off! Lucky day! It was! After that and then with the additional 20% off, it was just over $100 ($112 to be exact!) Oh sweet heaven!!! I must have it! (Now here is where the story gets sad.) We went on our trip sponateously and with a VERY limited budget. The moral debate began. I could buy the bag and the next day we could just hang out at our hotel and then go home (something I seriously debated), or I could not buy the bag and we could take the kids to the zoo as planned. Eventually, the responsible part of me won out. And that, my friends, is the story of the steal that almost was.

Sweet Is the Peace the Gospel Brings

This song has been playing in mind all week. My Grandma is dying. She was diagnosed with brain cancer a few weeks ago, went for radiation treatment and seemed to be ok. Tired, but ok. The past week, though, is a whole other story. I saw her last Saturday and she seemed ok, but not as with it as she had been previously. On Tuesday, I was told that they'd moved Grandma to the Raymond hospital and they didn't think she would make it through the end of September. Wednesday night, I was doing an Uppercase Living show for my sister when we got a call saying that Grandma was worse and we needed to get home soon. She's still here, but just barely. I'm sad that she is dying. Just thinking about not seeing her or being able to scrapbook with her makes me miserable. But, I know that this is not the end. And I know that she will be in a better place. She'll be reunited with Grandpa and many others of her family who has gone before her. As sad as I am, I still feel peaceful. For that, I am so very grateful.

Top Ten...

Things I Could Do If I Had My Own House

1. Pick my own cabinet colors!

2. Walk around in my unders if I'm to hot.

3. Throw all junk food out.

4. Keep it clean.

5. Stop feeling guilty when my kids misbehave.

6. Stop paying for a storage unit.

7. Not whisper yell at James when we're disagreeing.

8. Not whisper yell when we're making up! ;)

9. Teach piano lessons in a room other than my dining room

10. Unplug the TV whenever I want!

Things I Couldn't Do If I Had My Own House

1. Put the kids to be and go for a walk.

2. Morning workouts without kids!

3. Sewing is already at a minimum, it would be even less!

4. Teach piano lessons without taking my kids somewhere first.

5. Have someone to help corral TJ while James is at work.

6. Have a nap while the boys are awake.

Um, I can't think of any more. So I guess the title shouldn't have been Top Ten. Oh well!

Poop Poop and More Poop

I know its been a long time since I've posted and even longer since I've posted anything interesting. And this post really won't be much better. Maybe. I don't know, you'll have to tell me I guess.

Here's the deal. My life is retarded. I don't think I'm interesting, so why would I expect you to. But, I keep telling myself (on weeks when I feel like, why bother writing this silly blog!) to keep writing so that I can remember the things that happen. So, on with the insanity that is my life.

The sad thing is that I would LOVE to be one of those people who others read her blog and say, "Wow, she has such great ideas" or "She must be pretty awesome to have such a nifty blog" (Ok, I know, no one says nifty anymore!)

I feel like the problem with making my blog something awesome is the same problem I'm having with most everything else. It has to wait. My whole life is on hold. I don't have the space I need to craft, the home I need to entertain, the time I need to blog, the skills I need to take decent pictures, the money I need to get those skills... well, you get the picture. Since this whole stupid mom thing happened, I feel like I have had to put my entire life on hold to clean up the mess that she made.

And then she wonders why I really don't want to be around her. I know I can't/shouldn't say the things I want to and I get so tired of biting my tongue. It really is emotionally draining. I'm pretty sure one day I'm going to snap and say something that I may end up regretting. Only time will tell!

In the meantime, if you see me and I seem preoccupied, its probably because I am. My grandma was diagnosed with terminal brain and lung cancer, so I'm helping take care of her often, my mom continues being stupid and we're still trying to renovate. Yes, I said renovate. I was planning a really awesome elaborated post about our renos on the kitchen and living room, but with everything going on, its going SO slow!! I hate it!! Someday, I will put up pics and you can see the awesome stuff we're doing. Until then, use your imagination. On second thought, don't use your imagination because your imagination is probably better than our skills. So, if you are going to imagine, just don't imagine very far! Or try to imagine within the tiny budget we have!