Weight Loss Wednesday

I think this is by far the most difficult day for me.  It also the most necessary.  I have battled with my weight my entire life.  The thing is, I don't eat a lot.  I don't even eat very unhealthily (generally!)  I never have.  (Ok not quite never.  There was a breif 3 month peiod I'll talk about in a minute!) My mom never cooked with salt, I really don't like the taste of it.  I don't drink a lot of soda (maybe a 3 or 4 cans a week) and its always diet (I know, aspartame will kill me!).  I used to be quite and active person and, even now, I don't just sit and watch tv.  I'm moving.  I may not be working out like I used to or running or playing soccer, but I don't sit a whole lot during my day.  So, why am I gigantic?  There are a few reasons.

#1     I was my smallest while in university and even then, I was a 10/12.  However, I felt great about myself then.  Not because I was "skinny" (clearly a 12 is not skinny!) but because I felt healthy.  I had so much more energy and, while I was still a little self conscious, I learned to truly love myself, inside and out.  Then life happend and I had to move back home.  I was so depressed, I literally did nothing but eat, sleep and cry for three solid months.  It was an awful time.  I gained a TON of weight (not literally, but close enough!) I really just didn't care about anything.  At all.  I gained over 80 pounds in 3 months.  Yep, you read that right.  Crazy.  Stupid. 

#2     I have a very serious hormone imbalance.  Its why they thought I couldn't have kids and why my 3 little monkeys truly are miracles (I know every baby is a miracle, mine are just more so!).  Its why I'm tested for ovarian cancer regularly (I've had a couple of scares and its no fun!)  Its why my skin/hair/nails/ect don't do what normal peoples do.  Its why I'm super irregular (TMI?  Sorry!)  What does that have to do with weight loss you ask?  Well, estrogen is the hormone that makes girls girls, right? (I know, oversimplifying it!) My body goes through cycles.  I either have almost no estrogen or I have crazy excessive amounts.  Estrogen holds on to fat.  Thats why women naturally have a higher percentage of fat than men.  So, while my body is estrogen deprived, the little that is left is working overtime.  Like, 90 hour week kind of overtime.  One of its overtime duties is to hoard fat.  It fights to hold on to it.  While my my body is overrun with estrogen, its not fighting to hold onto it, but there are way more estrogen girls running around holding fat's hand than in a normal female body. 

SO, getting to the point, it is about 10x more difficult for me to lose weight than the average female.  Let me give you an example.  Shortly before I got pregnant with Kezia, I had decided the time had come to really get serious about this whole weight loss thing.  I joined the lifestyles program, which is run through the local clinic.  Basically, its a program to educate you about food and what you should and shouldn't eat, proper portion sizes ect.  They have this amazing scale that measures bone density ect and lets you know what weight would be ideal for you as well as fat percentage and water percentage and stuff like that.  So, I was going for weekly weigh ins.  I signed up for a bootcamp.  I got up at 5 am 3 mornings a week and went to this crazy stupid workout.  It was intense.  Even the skinny girls thought so!  The days I didn't have boot camp, I'd still get up at 5 and do a workout video of somekind.  After bootcamp/video, I'd do yoga for 45 minutes.  Most days (at least 4 days a week) my friend and I would load our kids in the stroller and go for a walk.  I'm not talking a walk around the block either.  I'm talking minimum 2 hour-usually closer to 3 or 4 hour walks.  Then at least 3 evenings a week I'd go for another walk or do another dvd.  Once summer came and the pool opened, I added early morning water aerobics after bootcamp, followed by morning lane swim and then occasionally afternoon lane swim.  I was watching what I was eating SO closely, keeping a journal, everything I was supposed to do.  I did this for just over 6 months.  Want to know the most I lost in a week during that 6 month period.  0.2 pounds.  Yup, not even one whole pound in a week.  And my fat percentage barely moved either.  Meanwhile, my friend who was doing the same thing I was doing was averaging 5-7 pounds a week.  Talk about frustrating.

So, why am I telling you all of this?  Because I know that this is going to be a very discouraging challenge for me and I need your help.  If you see me, even if I don't really look like I've lost anything, lie to me ;)  Don't let me give up, no matter how much I might yell about only losing .2 pounds.  Make me keep going.  Just keep sending your love my way.  I'll need it!